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Friday, August 05, 2005

Si Kunci Nakal dan Doa yang Terjawab

Jadi peristiwa kurang menyenangkan (tapi hepi ending) ini bermula di sebuah pagi hari, tepatnya kamis 4 Agustus 2005, waktu gue mau berangkat skolah. Pagi itu gue lagi di rumah Wan abud* (Red. Bukan nama sebenarnya), agak terburu-buru karena telat masuk kuliah dan rumah dia agak jauh. Setelah semua barang yg mau dibawa terkumpul, mulai deh gue berhitung “1,2,3..” , 1 untuk dompet, 2 untuk kunci rumah, 3 untuk kunci mobil. Loh Loh loh… koq Cuma bisa mentok ampe 2? Mana yang ke-3????????!!! Panik panik panik… nyari2 kunci tapi ngga ketemu…. 30 menit berlalu dan masih ngga ketemu juga.. Jadi sudahlah gue nelfon temen2 kuliah dan bilang gue ngga masuk hari ini dan nitip absen. Seharian itu gue mencari2 dan banyak termenung, intinya berusaha mengingat2 kemana perginya si kunci nakal itu… sampe ketiduran pula (Wan Abud bilang “ wah… itu nunjukin banget ya betapa pentingnya kunci mobil itu buat kamu?”).
Gue cari di setiap pelosok apartment… you name it, I’ve searched it… di kolong meja, di rak buku, tempat tidur, di bawah sofa, di selipan2 sofa, di lemari, di kantong2 plastic, di tas (yang ini paling sering diobrak abrik), di dapur, di kulkas bawah, di kamar mandi…..di tong sampah….($!#^*!).. mobil juga udah 3x di check..pokonya semua tempat yg dari mungkin sampe ngga mungkin deh.. Tapi kunci nakal itu masih juga ngumpet dengan manisnya…Seharian itu dari pagi ampe malem gue ceritain ke beberapa orang baik di telfon maupun MSN dan pikiran gue mulai penuh dengan kemungkinan2 nyeremin seperti gimana kalo ada yg nemuin di jalan dan mobil gue dibawa lari? Wah pokonya panik gila deh! Hari itu dengan ajaibnya gue jadi banyak berdoa.. mohon2 biar kunci nakal itu mau nyerah dan nampakin muka jeleknya… Tapi sampe malem si kunci ngga nyerah juga.. Jadi gue mutusin untuk ngambil kunci serep di rumah… Setelah gue dapet “kembaran”nya, gue buka mobil dengan 1 harapan… bahwa si kunci nakal itu ngumpetnya di mobil…Ehhhhh ngga ada juga… yaudah lesu deh guenya… mungkin emang si kunci emang ngga mau ditemuin. Beberapa org yg gue curhatin bilang, kasih deh waktu beberapa hari, kalo masih ngga ketemu juga baru mobilnya dibawa ke dealer dan minta kunci baru untuk keamanan… Malem itu gue tidur, ngga lupa berdoa dulu, hanya bergantung pada “faith” dan jawaban dari Tuhan… Paginya gue masih ngarep2 pada kemungkinan si kunci mulai bosen ngumpet…pas lagi mikir2 ada suara2 kecil yg bilang kalo gue harus ngambilin meat pie buat lunchnya wan abud yg adanya di freezer… Sambil masih ngantuk2 gue buka deh tuh freezer.. pas mindah2in beberapa barang untuk ngambil meat pie sebuah benda jatuh ke lantai… dan jreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnggggggggggggggg…. Ternyata si kunci ngumpetnya di freezer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ya ampun… kunci nakal itu memang suka aneh2 aja… wong winter2 gini kenapa milih freezer buat ngumpet??? Kenapa ngga di oven? (ngga lucu ya?) Gue langusng napsu ngambil di lantai sampe pas bangun kejedot pintu freezer… tapi rasa sakit kayanya langsung dikalahin sama perasaan seneng karena udah dipermukan sama si Kunci… gue langusng duduk manis sambil menggenggam si kunci sambil berdoa.. ya iya donk berterimakasih karena doa gue terjawab!! Trus abis itu gue baru inget, kalo malam sebelumnya gue emang sempet ngambil “Roti Prata yg frozen” di kulkas rumah gue untuk dibawa ke rumah Wan Abud, jadi ternyata waktu mengunci mobil malam itu, kuncinya ngga sengaja masuk ke kantong plastik roti prata di dalam tas gue.. dan roti prata itu gue masukin ke freezer…. ……………………………………..
Jadi the moral of the story is… kalo lo punya keyakinan dan lo percaya bahwa Tuhan bisa ngebantu elo di saat lo putus asa seputus-putusnya.. pasti Dia bakal bantu … Bayangin aja seharian gue cari keliling2 bisa ngga ada… dan waktu gue putusin untuk nyerahin masalah ini sama yang di Atas, besok paginya terjawab deh… gue yakin suara2 kecil di otak gue itu bukan suara gue sendiri… Thank You, God… Thank You… Seneng banget deh sekarang, dan gue berpesan sama si kunci nakal supaya dia ngga nakal2 lagi dan ngga boleh ngumpet seharian bahkan semaleman juga….The End.

Note: Maaf ya kalo ada yang ngarepin dari judulnya kalo cerita ini bakal menjadi sebuah cerita indah dan bukan cerita bodoh…tapi kalo yg dari awal udah tau bahwa ceirtanya bakal agak ngaco… Well there you go…

Sunday, April 17, 2005

KNIFE AND FORK

what do you need when you want to eat a piece of steak?
yes.. a knife AND a fork.
not just a knife , not just a fork.. you NEED both of them.
Knife has a function of cutting your steak, fork doesnt.
Fork has a function of holding your steak in place while you're cutting it and to pick your piece of steak up, knife doesnt.
Maybe we can force ourselves to eat with just a knife, but how troublesome would it be to try to use the knife to pick up your steak? moreover, how are you gonna hold your steak while you cut it? dont say "just use your hands".. we're talking about proper hygenic eating here..
and vice versa, you can try to just use a fork to eat your steak but you gotta have a strong jaw and a strong sets of teeth to be able to do so..
my point is... you can enjoy and eat your steak happily if you have both knife and fork... but under other circumstances in life, you cant just have both.. you have to choose 1 between 2 equally important things and have to forgo the other one...
it is possible to survive with one but you would wish you have the other to complete your life..
as it also applies to eating a steak, it is possible to eat the steak with just a knife or a fork, but life would be easier if you have both...
a solution would be to train ourselves to be able to eat a steak properly with just a fork.. it will take some time to ignore the absence of a knife but i suppose one would just need to get use to it... the same may be applied to our lives... it will be tough... but you just cant have everything you want...

Sunday, April 10, 2005

one of those days

Everyone have their ups and downs.. there are days when you feel blissfully happy and there are days when you feel so down you wanna knock your head against the wall..These feelings can change overnight or just within hours..
I'm having one of those "down" days.. in fact today is a pretty extreme case.. i never really breakdown and cry before.. very very seldom, almost never... but just about a few minutes ago i did.. and whats killing me is that i don't know exactly WHY i cried..

Women would usually relate these days as their PMS (Pre/Post Menstrual Syndrome).. which is when their hormones react in some ways or whatever that can have effects such as moodswings, lost/gain appetite and other shit.. dont ask me about the real science in it.. i dont know.. i guess it is just the mystery of nature.. But I'm trying not to relate what i'm experiencing with dat.. i usually do, but someone once told me, "dont make it as a habit to use PMS as an excuse for bad mood bla..bla..bla.." So i'm trying to listen to him and yet i'm not used to actually figure out why i'm having such bad mood without blaming it on PMS...

So I just sat here in my room alone.. trying hard to brush away that weight that keeps pushing me down and down.. I thought about it... why is this happening? i came up with a conclusion that it is because of a mixture of things, i'm all stressed out with my uni work.. i dont know shit about what i'm doing.. i always feel that i'm doing a wrong course.. but i cant turn away, its too late.. Now i have piles of reports, assignments and tests to be done.. i dont even know where to start.. secondly.. i've been having this thought (which i cant share with you here, sorry) that is bothering me once in a while... and it is somehow comin back to me at the moment...

I have been feeling tired and exhausted for the past few days.. my bones and joints are just sore..its not because i've been losing sleep.. i been getting lots of sleeps.. but i'm just tired...worn out..

I guess another reason that i cried is because i always blame other people, people that i love, for the way i feel.. i always dump my anger/anxiety onto them.. i would say really bad things and sharp words.. even if they dont deserve it... i cried because i dont have a self control.. i blurt out words without thinkin.. i act without thinkin.. and in the end.. when they are hurt (even when they dont show it), i'm hurt even more because i know sorry doesnt really cure.. It's like when you nail a wooden board.. even if you pull the nail out, the hole will still be there.. it will never be the same smooth board ever again... Today, i think i hurt/somehow annoyed my bf, and then in the afternoon i talked to my parents on the fone (whom i have not spoken to for more than a week).. and yet i still manage to be rude... I would say that i'm one hell of a bitch today.. and what hurt most is that I didnt mean it..

As a person.. people may think that i'm all cheerful and tough...that i can take any shits dump on me... i guess again.. i have worn my mask well... too well that sometimes i even fooled myself..I think about stuff.. but i hesitate and most of the time too lazy to act.. I know that i have to get things straight.. pu t myself together.. but the thing is i'm the best procrastinator ever.. i got things to be done.. mostly uni related, i have to get password for my netbank, i want to change to ADSL, i want to repair my suitcase, yadda yadda.. all those can be done if i actually concentrate and make a schedule and follow them.. but up until now.. i haven.. people must be tired of hassling me.. Yet.. i haven change...I think i wanna do all those this week.. I hope..
back to what i'm sayin about me as a person... i guess what best describe me as a person is dat i'm that kind that always don't say what i mean and dont mean what i say.. it seems that the connections between my brain, my heart and my mouth been damaged for ages...

I dunno why i cried and whats the point of all the things i blab about above..i have no conclusion..I'm just trying to feel better and i thought writing about it will ease the pain.. hmpf.. calling it a pain seems too extreme.. but i cant help but feelthe burden.. maybe its like carrying a 100kg sack on my back...i'm so messed up... i'm a closed person.. i dont really show what i'm feeling to others..its not easy for me.. but it's torturing, but the thing is I know that no one really understands me.. not even myself...So how do i expect anyone to understand me when myself cant... argh...i guess all i wrote above is just bullshit.. people who read this most probably be thinkin that i'm sick by now... sigh... i just want everything to go away in one blink.. but even idiots know that thats impossible.. so i gotta face all this... i just have to keep thinkin that worse shits happen to others.. so i should be grateful and not sweat about all this... sigh........

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

breathe

i see love and beauty all around
i also see the sadness that's embedded in your frown
i wonder why you choose not to talk to those who surround
i sense a fear of lifting heavy feet
higher than you want to, i just want to believe your truth
you stand there but you do not cast a shadow
you walk away with every word you choose not to say
i suppose that moving on paints a new colour for each day
i don't like to see dreams put on the shelf
to deal with on that one day
cause i believe in breathing just for today
i just want to know that you're okay
i believe in for today, i just want to know that you're okay

-part of the lyric of "Breathe in Now"-

to whom it may concern,
you are a beautiful being, i love you for you and not for other things. I will never know the pain but all i know is that i'll do anything to ease it and make it go away. i want to gather the shattered pieces of you and put it back together. i love you.

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Listening to "misread"

today.. ada yg nyuruh gue nulis di blogspot nan gersang ini... so here i am.......thinkin...posting... typing...hmm....






























hehehehehehe...


well honestly... my holiday so far has been a blast..! makanya i dont have much time right now to write everything i did and will be doing during this holiday...!

MAYBE... when my ass is back in sydney (i will be takin off on the 12th next month) , i will be so bored and tired of my UNI LIfe... i will write every single friggin thing that i did during my summer break... really...

but as for now... all i have to say is i'm enjoyin myself.. i mean really enjoyin myself... why dont I? i got my family with me.. met my adorable grandpa.. and most importantly i have spent lotsa hella good time with my dear dear friendss.. (those yg ngga di sydney... for those yg di sydney.,. i'm missin you guys loh! we will re-unite soon *wink*)
yes... as i was sayin... i'm glad i met and have spend lotsa quality time with my friends... gosh... some of them left alreadi... pergi ke negri2 dimana mreka belajar... sigh... i'm missing them.. really.. i really do miss them... these guys sure know who i'm talkin about... you guys are the shit! *in a good way ofcoz..*
and i cant believe we havta be apart for another .. hm.. what? 1 month or 6 months or even a year? fuck... haree was right ( when asked what he wants at the moment...his answer wus "pintu kemana saja" --> doraemon) i would love that too rii!!... i think we should all have one.. u know... kalo nanti kita smua saling kangen and need a hug and some coffee... kita bisa janjian ketemuan dimana gitu and yg pastinya kapan aja... hmpf... i'm so sad... yet heppi ... sad becoz some of my fellas had left.. hepi becoz lots of them are still here to chill wit me.. although yg paling disayangkan adalah most everyone yg lagi liburan has a part time job... huh! cuma tersisa me and ary yg tiap hari bengang bengong... ampe bosen... hihihi piss ry..
udah ah... tadinya kan mo nulis dikit.. gimana seh!

sebagai pengingat apa yg mo ditulis nanti saat lagi bosen2nya di sydney, here is the list of summer experiences yg gue inget :
*malem taon baruan... hohoho all the alcohol and video “semi-bokep”..
*kegilaan terhadap chai latte coffeebean
*retro RnB nite *yea.. uhuhh*
*EDDY bubur junet and robak.. God i used to love that place.. but skrg enek
*that really cool lounge di EX
*reuni smagers
*met some primary skool friendsss
*THE incredibles..... oh oh ohhhh... and KUNGFU hustleee
*dara dan ke-"MUREH"-an nya dia selama summer holiday (GOOd God, ra!)
*nyetir ke glodok and pangeran jayakarta.. *it wasnt good i tell ya!*
*ayam2 pitik dari ryan yg diberi nama surti & tedjo
*singapore (pertama kalinya setelah sekian lama bisa have such a great quality time with my parents and siblings..)
*kenzo and keiko (anjing2 ShietZu nya my bro’s girl, Cath)
* Me and Cikal bugging ary with the “Milkshake” song, and that “Tempted to touch” song... what’s your problem, Ry?
*abraham di-smoothing... trus jesslyn juga dismoothing..
*coffee club?
*setiabudi ??
*gosh... there is much much more.. but so sorry cant list all of em down coz i gotta roll...
but yeah.. since udah ada list untuk mengingatkan...i'll definitely write about 'em next time..
for now... adios.. Peace and love to you all...

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Truth Is
by Fantasia Barrino

Ran into an old friend yesterday
Caught me by surprise when he called my name
He was a familiar face, from a chapter in my past
Talked for awhile, I smiled and then
Said that he was seeing somebody and
Told me this was gonna last
Showing me her photograph

And all the feelings I thought were gone
Came rushing back to me at once
Tried to smile and hide the way I felt
But I was thinking to myself

[chorus]
Truth is I never got over you
Truth is wish I was standing in her shoes
Truth is and when it's all said and done
Guess I'm still I love with you
Truth is I never should have let you go
Truth is and it's killing me cause now I know
Truth is and when it's all said and done
Guess I'm still I love with you

We reminisced on the way things used to be
Shared a couple laughs, shared some memories
Talked about the things that changed
Some for good and some for bad
Then he said goodbye and he paid for lunch
Promised that we'd always keep in touch
Grabbed my bags and grabbed my thoughts
Walked away and that was that

And all the feelings I thought were gone
Came rushing back to me at once
Tried to smile and hide the way I felt
But I was thinking to myself

[chorus]
Truth is I never got over you
Truth is wish I was standing in her shoes
Truth is and when it's all said and done
Guess I'm still I love with you
Truth is I never should have let you go
Truth is and it's killing me cause now I know
Truth is and when it's all said and done
Guess I'm still I love with you


(IT's a damn good song...)

Saturday, November 20, 2004


AND.........Anotha one...!! yupe yupee.. bought 2 sunnies todayy.. so Happiii...

New sunniESsss cheapos cheapos at Glebe MarKettt... but i'm still brokee... *sniff*